The Brit/EU War: 100 Years or One Day

September 2, 2005

There’s a lethal interaction between the EU’s tendency to promulgate idiotic laws and the Brit passion for following rules. Which means that when the Brits do make war on the EU it will be very protracted or very brief.

The situation is reported in our Granita Tapes post, in which Blair describes to his evil buddies his attempts to help out in Iraq:

Blair. (Continuing). So, I asked my Army Top Brass for the best regiment in the Army to back the Americans up, and they told me the Black Watch. Jocks you know (Ed: English term for Scottish people).

Chirac. (Looking acute). I see, tough men, like Begbie in Trainspotting?

Schroeder. (Looking pensive). Yes, our Wehrmacht feared the Scottish soldiers – “Devils in Skirts”, they called them!

Blair. (Looking rueful). Well, that’s what I thought. Then I had their CO (Ed: Commanding Officer) to Number 10 (Ed: Downing Street) for a pep talk. Expected, you know, Braveheart. Total disappointment. Looked like he came from Dorking (Ed: Highly un-Scottish part of England). Said that he couldn’t help the Americans because it was risky and he was bound by HASAWA (Ed: Brit Health & Safety At Work Act).

All of which is confirmed today, hat tip EU Serf:

‘Noise at work’ rules threaten to knock out Army’s tanks

Defence chiefs are fighting to prevent the Army’s tanks being stopped in their tracks by the introduction of a European directive on vibration and noise at work.

The Control of Vibration at Work Regulations and the Control of Noise at Work Regulations have left officers scrambling to discover if the military’s armoured vehicles break the rules.

When the UK does make war on the EU, as seems inevitable, Brussels will insist that the armies fight only for 35 hours a week, have 6 weeks vacation, do not engage in “harmful weapons competition”, and follow all its Health and Safety At Work directives. It’s going take 100 years! Or a day, if the Brits have a Maggie Thatcher in charge…