Apple Jokes

After being annoyed by every major PC vendor, I’m considering moving the Gandalfian global information system to Apple. Since it’s important that computer architectures have a sense of humor, I’ve been looking for one in Apple.

Here’s an old UNIX joke that contrasts the communities (from memory – improvements and links welcome):

If Apple was an airline, the check in clerks, gate attendants and cabin crew would be perfect and identical. The plane interior would be muted and tasteful, and takeoff would be exactly on time. However the airline would fly to only one destination.

If Microsoft was an airline, it would fly to a host of destinations, but check in would be traumatic, it would take ages to get to the gate. You’d end up in a state-of-the-art plane, which would climb swiftly to cruising altitude. Then stop.

If UNIX was an airline, the planes would work fine, and would take off and land wherever the passengers wanted. However they’d first have to assemble the plane and volunteers would need to push it to take off.

The Mac Mini is attractive as a media player, but doesn’t have a region-free DVD player. That’s annoying if you’ve invested in hundreds of DVDs from different regions.

The PC architecture has plenty of packages that break region locks, whereas on Apple there’s just one. But it’s well regarded, free, and from a jokey French team – here’s part of their April 1 press release:

Apple-VideoLAN partnership announced, Mac VLC to be Intel only

Paris, France (2006/04/01) – In an effort to help Apple with its Intel transition, the VideoLAN team, distributor of the industry leading cross-platform media player VLC, announced its intent to drop support for the now outdated G4 and G5 based series of Mac computers.

About VideoLAN: VideoLAN ( is a project to build open source, cross-platform multimedia tools. Their VLC media player is the most downloaded Mac OS X application according to

About Apple: Apple is the creator of the hyped and overpriced Macintosh computer. Until recently, Apple buyers could brag in front of PC users about how their PowerPC-based computer was twice as expensive, but also twice as powerful as the Intel-based counterpart. Now, thanks to the Intel transition, Apple computers are only twice as expensive.

The Apple community passes the humor test.


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