Climate

Back in the Southern Med over a week, and my half marathon training runs are made delightful by balmy 65 degrees, blue skies, and swarms of spring flowers – normal for this time of year.

We escaped just the UK before Gore arrived there to pontificate on Global Warming, and so missed the massive (for the UK) 4 inch snowfalls he triggered. Brits responded with their usual fortitude:

Motorists were faced with freezing fog and black ice on their journey to work, trains were delayed and hundreds of schools remained closed for a second day. Parts of the UK, including South Wales and the West Midlands, were expected to see further snowfall of between two and four inches – with up to six inches predicted on high ground.

Virgin trains said it was operating an hourly service between London Euston and Birmingham until 3pm this afternoon due to track maintenance work required because of the “extreme weather conditions”.

Icy roads and travel disruption caused a 320 per cent increase in non-medical employee absence…

Schoolteachers set an example:

Schools were accused of being over-cautious yesterday as more than a million children were forced to stay at home when 4in of snow paralysed the education system.

In many cases, pupils were able to travel in but were turned away amid claims that staff from further afield could not make the journey.Other head teachers blamed icy conditions for making playgrounds unsafe, while some insisted that school buses could not get through.

I will spare readers tedious “Why, when I was a lad” anecdotes. But to avoid the same fate in your locality, here’s an incantation to exorcise Gores from your broom closet:

Q: How much did mean global temperature rise in the 20th Century?

A: 0.7 degrees C.

Q: How much did global living standards increase in the 20th Century?

A: 1,800%

Q: How much has global temperature increased this century?

A: Er, nothing (actually 0.03 degrees C, but that’s inside measurement error).

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