Boom-Bang-A-Bang

The Eurovision Song Contest provides absolute justification for destroying the entire continent – maybe the Israelis will now oblige.

…an annual competition held between active member countries of the European Broadcasting Union, in which participating countries each submit a song to be performed on live television; then proceed to cast votes for the other countries’ songs, in order to find the most popular song in the competition.

If you’ve ever suffered French rock music, you’ll appreciate the songs are beyond terrible. And the voting confirms exactly to caricature – Brits vote for the least bad, while all other nations vote a) against the Brits and b) for the least bad neighbor. For complex mathematical reasons, that means the Irish usually win.

The Norwegians have been treated brutally since 1978, when Norway got zero votes (“nul points” in French):

(The Norwegian entrant) sang Mil Etter Mil…while twanging his braces and kicking his legs. He went on to run Norway’s only private pub-brewery and a naturopathic pharmacy.

Bastards! Anyway, now Eurovision is being beastly to the Israelis, who wrongly believe the national humiliation involved in competing might moderate European antisemitism (hat tip LGF) – a doomed hope:

Eurovision Song Contest organizers said Thursday they might ban this year’s Israeli entry, Teapacks’ Push the Button, because of what they termed its inappropriate political message….

“It’s absolutely clear that this kind of message is not appropriate for the competition,” said Kjell Ekholm, an organizer of the contest. “We’ll have all the delegation leaders here in Helsinki next week, and I’m sure we’ll talk about this case within the EBU [European Broadcasting Union] group.”

Here’s the song – viewer discretion advised – parts are in French.

Banning Teapacks will be a blatantly discriminatory, since about 90% of Eurovision entries are titled Boom-Bang-a-Bang (or the Latvian, Serb, German etc equivalent).

So, if you were planning a jaunt to Helsinki anytime soon, you might wait for the radioactivity to subside.

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