Greenfly

LGF has the video of the splendid Brit demolition of The Great Global Warming Swindle here.

To balance these crazed Climate Deniers, the opposition Tories are launching Operation Greenfly – the rationing of Brit air travel.

This post has further Green suggestions for the Tory leader, David “Sapsucker” Cameron.

Greenfly:

Harsh new taxes on air travel, including a strict personal flight “allowance”, will be unveiled by the Conservatives tomorrow as part of a plan that would penalise business travellers, holidaymakers and the tourist industry.

The proposals, to be disclosed by George Osborne, the shadow chancellor, include levying VAT or fuel duty on domestic flights for the first time as part of a radical plan to tackle global warming.

The Conservatives will also suggest – most controversially of all – rationing individuals to as little as a single short-haul flight each year; any further journeys would attract progressively higher taxes…

This is probably a plant (pun intended) by the evil Blair to discredit the Tories, but just in case it isn’t, here are some other Green suggestions.

Greenout

Each evening the power will be cut for 6 hours to one of the 13 EU regions that make up the old UK. To minimize economic impact, the greenouts will take place between 6 PM and midnight, and in only one region each night. To ensure fairness, the National Lottery will select the region.

The measure is expected to reduce UK electricity consumption by 25% divided by 13 – a whopping 2% – saving the need for 2,000,000 windmills.

Greenmail

British residents will be limited to an annual maximum of 10,000 text and email characters. Citizens will be able to purchase “top ups” from any of the 69 ID Card Interview centers, at the rate of £1/character, provided they supply a DNA sample.

While not producing significant savings, this leadership measure is expected to humiliate the face-conscious Chinese into stopping building one new power station each week

Greenwich

As an energy saving measure, all privately owned eating places in the UK will be closed, to be replaced with Green Kitchens serving only the nutritionally balanced Greenwich.

Greenline

Brit railway track width will be reduced from four feet eight and three eighths of an inch to a Euro-centric 1 meter (called the greenguage). This will cut locomotive energy use and simultaneously provide a 30 cm wide bike lane next to every rail track.

Greencard

This ID card will be required by any Brits wishing to travel more than 5 miles from their homes.

Greenstamp

These will cost £5 each (reductions for pensioners), and be required for all postal communications originating in the UK.

Go for it, sapsucker!

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