The Next War

Mrs G is taking me on a mystery vacation, so to pass the time here’s a rerun of our 2-year-old forecast of  the consequences of appeasement.

Historically, war and disaster are the rule not the exception, so there’s no reason the destructive forces roiling our modern world won’t put the lights out in the traditional way.

This was written in 2005. The only incorrect prediction so far is the Eurotrash got to Wolfowitz earlier than predicted (15).

Part 1: Decline and Fall

Here’s what an America-hating President Hillary Rodham might do after election in 08

1. President Rodham agrees to extend NAFTA to form an American Union (AU) with Canada and Mexico, progressively ceding sovereignty on defense, foreign policy, the environment, taxation and most law making. EU President Tony Blair provides constitutional guidance.

2. Vigorous counter-AU-laws are passed in all red States, but these are ruled unconstitutional by the US Supreme Court. Republican attempts to impeach the Supreme Court fail. The Court rules these attempts unconstitutional and the offending Congressmen and women are themselves impeached and removed from office.

3. The leaders of the 3 nations appoint an AU Commission, with power to develop and impose Directives across the AU, subject to broad guidelines set by the 3 leaders.

4. The 3 leaders nominate Bill Clinton as President of the AU Commission. This keeps him out of the White House.

5. The AU Commission chooses Montreal for its headquarters. Thousands of female interns flee to Europe but are forcibly repatriated.

6. Justifying her order withdrawing all US forces from abroad, President Rodham declares the end of phallocentric muscular foreign policy and disbands many military units, including the USMC.

7. The first Commission Directive makes citizen gun ownership illegal in the AU. US guns are collected with the help of Mexican and Canadian armed forces. Dan Rather, at the helm of a newly invigorated CBS, reports that this proceeds peacefully, and cites authentic letters from Americans celebrating their new freedom from guns.

8. To ensure democratic legitimacy, an AU Congress is established, with 626 representatives elected by the 3 member nations in proportion to their populations.

9. The location of the AU Congress rotates on a 6 month cycle between Montreal and Cancun. The latter ensures that Mexico gets some of the ample hospitality spending by AU Congresspeople (each of whom gets an annual $400,000 tax free, unaudited expense account).

10. For the purposes of AU Congress elections, the US is divided into 11 Administrative Regions (ARs). The AU Commission appoints Jimmy Carter to the thankless task of defining the US ARs. They turn out to be quite complicated.

11. In line with the EU, Americans elect their AU Congresspeople using the d’ Hondt system. Party officials in each AR create Party Lists of candidates so voters just need to select their Party. Purists object to this transfer of power to the activists that control the Party Lists, but the NYT calls it a minority-friendly simplification”. Since the AU Congress has little power, opposition is muted.

12. The AU Commission appoints war hero John Kerry as Defense Minister, where he starts the delicate process of merging the armed forces of the 3 nations. For safekeeping, he transfers all US military records to vaults in Montreal and cleanses them of “unnecessary” material.

13. An AU Supreme Court is created with absolute power to overrule the judiciaries of the 3 nations. Selected members of the old US, Canadian and Mexican Supreme Courts are elevated to the AUSC. After a surprise win in the lottery for naturalization as an American citizen, the international sage Kofi Annan is appointed first chairperson of the AUSC.

14. The Commission mandates an AU Arrest warrant, which enables law enforcement agencies in each of the 3 nations to arrest people in the other 2. So Canada and Mexico can arrest US citizens in the US, take them to their own countries and try them for crimes under Canadian or Mexican law. This includes trying them for acts which would not be crimes under US law.

15. A number of Bush Neocons are arrested and taken to Canada and tried for offenses under recently-enacted Canadian War Crimes laws. Arrested felons include Donald H. Rumsfeld, Paul Wolfowitz and John Bolton. The seat vacated by Wolfowitz at the World Bank is filled by Pascal Lamy of the EU.

16. Under an early AU Directive, the US signs up to Kyoto Protocol (2), and work starts on dismantling the remnant of the US manufacturing base and reducing its power generating capacity by 50%. Power rationing begins across the US with the exception of Maryland, Northern Virginia, Boston and Manhattan.

17. China successfully conquers Taiwan, after destroying its defenses with nuclear weapons, at the cost of 3 million lives. Australia and Japan protest, but AU President Clinton describes the action as “a necessary crackdown”.

18. Following pressure from a resurgent Russia, the AU enters negotiations to return Alaska.

19. IRA-style uprisings by Hispanics opposing US rule begin in California, Texas, and New Mexico. Insurgents are tacitly supported by Mexico, which provides sanctuary and weapons. After pressure from her AU partners, President Rodham declares that the US has “no selfish interest” in these states. Negotiations on Mexican/US power sharing start under an EU mediator.

20. Iran demands that all Jews vacate Israel. President Rodham joins with Jane Fonda to ask the Israelis togive peace a chance”. After Israel refuses, Iran detonates nuclear weapons over Tel Aviv and Jerusalem, killing 40% of Israelis. France obtains a UN resolution demanding Israelis show realism and depart, and threatens them with French nuclear forces.Surviving Israelis execute Operation Masada, destroying 32 Arab cities and Paris.

21. Oh, and ex-Senator Joseph Biden is appointed AU Anti-Corruption Czar with a big office in Montreal.

Part 2: Fight Back

22. In preparation for the 2012 election, the FCC rules that blogs are political speech and so regulated by McCain-Feingold. Google, stating that it will “Do No Evil”, shuts down Blogspot. The ABA threatens the remaining blog hosting services with class actions for the recovery of damages for “fundamentalist hate speech”. On legal advice, these services shut down. The remaining right-wing blogs move their services and in some cases themselves to the democratic refuges of Australia, Iraq, Afghanistan and, after its revolution, to the UK.

23. The Canadian Supreme Court rules in favor of the “honor killing” of a Canadian Muslim teenager by her brothers for walking in public with a fellow male student. The CSC finds the killers innocent, on the grounds that they were were following the dictates of Islam’s ‘divinely ordained justice’.

24. Elsewhere, the US Supreme Court rules that the First Amendment rights of bloggers have not been curtailed, pointing out that they can always be employed by “proper” media. Following this ruling, many lefty bloggers are hired by the revitalized MSM.

25. By 2012, all members of the earlier Bush administration are either in Canadian jails, or at the Hague facing the International Court of Justice, together with over 10,000 other former members of the US military indicted by that court for war crimes. The Republican challenge to President Rodham is mounted by ex-Governor Mark Warner of Virginia, running with Colin Powell.

26. Rodham wins, although only 35% of voters go to the polls. Dimocrats gain control of both houses.

27. British military units that fled to the US to escape the Blair purges of 2005-2007 return to the UK to participate in the revolution.

28. UN Secretary General Mugabe is the first to welcome Rodham’s election and her commitment to “add another 18 floors to the UN building”.

29. Shortly after the election, a 10 year old muslim girl is hanged from a cherry picker in a Toronto shopping mall for “moral crimes against Islam’s divinely ordained justice”. The child has been raped by an uncle, and their mother supported the execution. Canadian shoppers ignore the incident, but Australian, British, Japanese, Afghan and Iraqi public opinion is outraged and demands reference to the AU Supreme Court.

30. Sitting in emergency session, the AUSC rules the executions unlawful, since they violate the “right to privacy” of the executioners and their families. The Court further rules that in future, within the AU, such executions should take place privately, using the traditional penalty for adultery. Felons should be buried up to their breasts and then stoned using stones that “should not be large enough to kill the woman by one or two strikes, nor should they be so small that they could not be defined as stones”. To deal with the execution of children, the Court changes the reference to “breasts” to “6 inches below shoulders”. It further requires that such executions take place in recognized holy places and that felons should be sedated with morphine.

31. The ACLU pronounces satisfaction with a verdict that “respects religious diversity”. Spokespersons from the Canadian and US womens’ movements also voice support, saying “this is all about the mother’s right to choose, and she chose death for her child before dishonor. We respect her choice”.

32. In 2013, the Department of Commerce reports that the US economy has shrunk by 45% since 2008. Unemployment is at 25% and the Dow is at 3000. Social conditions resemble the Great Depression. President Rodham promises a “New Deal”.

33. Canadian police arrest two 13 year old girls in San Jose, CA and take them to Canada for trial and execution by the Islamic community – the children had been forced by their relatives to work as prostitutes. The NYT opines in an article headlined “It Takes a Village” that “The rioting in San Diego reflects the persistent racism of American people”. They conclude that “The Israeli destruction of the nations and holy places of Islam demand atonement by the American people”.

34. Mass emigration begins to Australia and the newly liberated UK.

35. British and Australian media report serious insurrections in California.

36. The talks on the restoration of Alaska following the “one-sided US purchase” drag on. As a gesture of good faith, the US dismantles its Alaskan BMD. Russia demands compensation for all the oil pumped under US occupation, and the US concedes this in principle.

37. The Hispanic insurgency in the 4 border states grows, following the suppression by the Border Patrol of attempts by local citizens to “illegally take the law into their own hands”.

38. In early 2014, the nation mourns the death of ex-President Carter. While officiating at Groundhog Day he is savaged to death by Punxsutawney Phil. The assailant is shot by the Secret Service. London’s Sun tabloid publishes pictures of the savaging under the headline “Gotcha”. The UK and US mutually withdraw their ambassadors, and the UK suspends aid shipments.

39. By 2015, unemployment reaches 40%. Power rationing is extended to Manhattan, causing the infamous “Gucci Riots”.

40. In early 2005, Condoleezza Rice dies of dehydration in a Canadian prison, after the courts decide that she would not wish to survive following a coma induced while in custody.

41. In a speech widely reported around the world, but not in the US, ex-Governor Schwarzenegger says:

“People have no jobs. That’s bad. Children are being killed. That’s bad. Our borders are wide open. That’s bad. Our Courts and Lawmakers are out of control. That’s bad. This is not the America I came to and that was so good to me. We should take America back”.

Following a series of uniquely Californian electoral maneuvers, Schwarzenegger is re-elected Governor. His first action is to close the borders with the rest of the US.

42. Other states follow to form the Greater US Union, and the Second Civil War begins. This time, Mexico and Canada are engaged. After 3 bloody years, the death of 5 million people and the destruction of Washington DC, Ottawa, Mexico City and Los Angeles, the Greater US Union prevails.

43. The Greater US includes the 5 western provinces of the old Canada plus the northernmost former Mexican states. Britain adopts the Eastern former Canadian provinces. Quebec is ceded to the Indian tribes on condition that it is available as a Moonbat Reservation (see below).

44. At a constitutional convention in Philadelphia, delegates agree a number of constitutional amendments to limit the socially destructive forces that brought ruin upon the nation. These include:

– All candidates for electoral office should either have hard science or engineering degrees (the Maggie clause), or have run a real business (the “W” clause), or have served their nation in harm’s way in the police, military or firefighters (the Ike clause).

– Candidates from professions centered on dishonesty are excluded from office, notably lawyers and some journalists and accountants.

– Candidates if either married or civil-unionized must still live with their first partner.

– The judiciary is reformed, with term limits of 8 years and the requirement that all judgments shall be made by a jury. All current judges must stand for re-election.

– Tenure is criminalized in all professions.

– The federal tax take shall be via a flat tax, not to exceed 15%.

– Paid lobbying is made illegal.

– No foreign quasi-government entity shall be located in the Greater US.

– English is made the official language of the Greater US, and citizenship or residence requires fluency.

– The state religion of the Greater US is defined as Christianity. All other religions are encouraged, provided that they do not violate Christian behaviors.

– Citizens unwilling to abide by the new Constitution are to be transported to new Moonbat Reservations, where they will subsists on social security, but not allowed to re-enter the Greater US.

– A review of all laws made under the Dimocrats that violate the above is to be carried out, and offending laws are struck down.

45. The new capital city is established in Minneapolis, approximately the center of the Greater US.

46. The UN HQ is transferred to Sudan, in spite of serious rioting by high-end New York restaurateurs. (The Wold Bank and IMF have already been vaporized with Washington, and re-headquartered in Aberystwyth, Wales).

47. Following adoption of these resolutions and a Republican landslide, President Schwarzenegger visits Moscow in Air Force II (a stretched B-2 bomber, fully loaded). After a private conversation with Czar Putin, both announce that Russia has renounced all claims to Alaska.

48. The Greater US withdraws from NATO and forms the center of the Anglosphere Defensive Alliance with the UK, Australia, New Zealand, India and free South Africa. Virgin Anglo, the Rutan/Branson sub-orbital airline, starts services between the US, the UK, India and Australia, with maximum journey times of 2 hours.

49. Moonbat Reservations are created in Cancun and its surroundings; parts of the former Quebec; and, by British agreement, in Tuscany Italy. Heart rending scenes follow, as members of the former regime and its supporters are electronically tagged and shipped out to perpetual irrelevance.

50. The US economy expands to its 2008 size within 5 years, and becomes the largest in the world within 10.

51. The world is at peace, for a while.

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8 Responses to The Next War

  1. Very Interestinig…………………steve

  2. yet another rice alum says:

    G,

    don’t know if you’ve read “The Ayes of Texas”. It’s a cold war version of your predictions w/Texas (naturally) in the place of California and the Soviet Union as the bad guys. It’s written tongue-in-cheek, but manages to catch the Texas mythos really well.

    YARA

  3. Jay says:

    Don’t come back yet, I’ve only read about half way so far. In the meantime, I thought this was cute:

    ONLY one week after Live Earth, Al Gore’s green credentials slipped while hosting his daughter’s wedding in Beverly Hills.

    Gore and his guests at the weekend ceremony dined on Chilean sea bass – arguably one of the world’s most threatened fish species.

    http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,22090734-5001031,00.html

  4. dearieme says:

    Anent our chat about your Grandma’s time: she wasn’t, I suspect, at risk of this:-
    http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/crime/article2110457.ece

  5. gandalf says:

    YARA

    Thanks for the tip, I juts ordered it.

  6. gandalf says:

    Jay and dearieme

    Brits take ages to get thoroughly mad, but when they do, they do really nasty things – like inflicting Armageddon on every German city in WW2.

    I’m not sure at what point they’ll flip to doing something equivalent to the honor killers.

  7. gandalf says:

    Jay

    In certain lights Gore looks quite like a Chilean Sea Bass.

    Maybe his daughter’s wedding planner was sending a message…

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