Using the Carter/Heath Law, readers should join me in sporting a moustache and maybe a beard.

The Carter/Heath Law states “If unsure what views to take, choose the ones in complete opposition to those of proven idiots”.


A recent poll found more than half of American women would refuse to kiss a man with a moustache.

Others have said the look reminds them of Village People, Seventies porn stars and rednecks.

Last year the US Supreme Court ruled that it was permissible for a trial lawyer to throw someone off a jury using the pretext that they have a moustache.

My American lady friends are perfectly happy to accept pecks, so this just tells us half of American women voted for Jimmy Carter.

Those “Others” are doomed to quick extinction, since remarking to passing rednecks “Hey, you remind me of the Village People and Seventies porn stars!” ensures their quick embedding in the landscape.

Trial Lawyers and the Supremes? Enough said.

Anyway, my uncle commanded a destroyer in the days before the Royal Navy surrendered to speedboats, and RN rules then specified he could have a full beard and moustache, provided he didn’t trim it. He wore it for the rest of his life.

During his long and highly successful post-war career in the US, I remember hearing my aunt bemoaning to my mother “those American girls just fling themselves at him!”

I was young, and the thought of being flung at by American girls worried me for some time.

However, when I grew up, it turned out to a most enjoyable experience.


2 Responses to Moustacheism

  1. yet another rice alum says:

    I think it had more to do w/the British accent. Or maybe i’m jealous that none of those American girl’s are flinging themselves at me.

  2. gandalf says:


    But it works the other way too!

    I once worked with a Californian guy who was at Cambridge University (in England) in the late 70s, and got to be one of the first 10 male undergraduates admitted to a previously woman-only college (I think it was Girton).

    When asked if that was tough, he replied “It was a dirty job, but somebody had to do it!”

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